In all seriousness, I have a permanent headache from this place that no amount of ibuprofen could cure (though it’s not stopping me from trying). The pressure keeps closing in around the bridge of my nose, my eyes watery from allergies, squinty from lack of sleep and not enough coffee.  Add in Shark Week and you’ve got a fucking loose cannon. These people don’t know what they’re in for.

We’re working out twice a day, and I think it goes without saying that I’m not even used to once a day or, let’s be real, ever. The first session or two almost felt good. I was already brewing anger in place of my coffee, and channeling  it into my running gave me a minuscule sense of satisfaction. But, here we are on Day 4, and I’m fucking dying. Allergies, little sleeps, and so sore I can barely walk up the stairs without grimacing. Also, I haven’t had a drink since Friday. Just saying, because that would surely take the edge off of this horror-show.

Yesterday I even ate cafeteria Mexican food for lunch, in hopes that it would kill me. Instead, it tasted good and I ate two enchiladas instead of one. Goddamnit.