Becoming somewhat well-educated on subjects I should have been proficient in long ago. I’m not used to feeling strongly about any issues, save gay marriage rights. Apathy is my middle name. However, this semester things are heating up. My 3 English/WGST classes are overlapping in topics and issues, which might very well be my favorite thing of all time. Anyway, back to my general lack of concern- I just don’t care, and staying in that middleground makes me privy to many a good joke, which I enjoy.

But now. I have to face these issues, realize that what is happening/has happened is beyond bullshit, and admit my role in some of them. The two that I’m referring to in particular are racism/profiling as well as gender roles/women’s rights.

How do you find foothold here? Shit is so fucking slippery. Am I a feminist? Absolutely. However, draw up this scenario for a minute. I’m a waitress, and my boss is slimy- not in a pervert way, but just in his actions. Although, I wouldn’t put the perv part past him. Let’s say, for example, that he says something borderline inappropriate to me, at work. Nothing too terrible, but can definitely be construed as something he should not have said. So, I call him out. “Excuse me, Stephen, but I’d appreciate it if you didn’t talk to me that way, or say those things around me.” Here’s what happens next. I don’t get sat for two or three hours, because he took me off rotation. Once he forgets about it, or leaves, I get a table of three good-looking men, all drinking beer. I’m trying to pay my bills. What’s stopping me from flirting with these men to my best ability, maybe making a lude comment or two myself, and seeing how much money I can maximize at this table?

Can I justify this for myself? Sure. I need the money, I’m single, they came out to have a good time, it’s harmless, all in good fun, etc. But, do I like being talked to that way by my boss? Fuck no. Am I not just putting myself back into that sleazy category by putting myself into the same situation again, willingly? 

Just something to think about. It’s not nearly as fun when you call yourself out.